The Nature of Kisses
by RainIsMyFavouriteColour
Summary: Collection of drabbles based on tumblr prompts from a kiss-meme (link on profile page, if you'd like to request one). Mostly fluff, some angst.
1. Miyusawa - 21 ('Jealous' Kiss)

"Shut up."

The words come out sharper, more biting and greener than Kazuya means to. He clamps his mouth shut to prevent any more bile from escaping but the damage has already been done.

Sawamura's wide eyes have grown even bigger, amber blinking at him innocently in surprise. Pink gums and white teeth are still on display, lips parted and frozen mid-sentence.

"What's your problem?" he asks aggressively, eyebrows drawn downward. It's a fatal shot at Kazuya's armour which finally cracks after a long day of hearing Sawamura sing Chris-senpai's praises.

Kazuya is tempted to deny that there is a problem at all - but this happens far too often, accumulating, and today just happens to be the day he snaps.

Before Eijun knows what's happening, he's slammed up against a nearby wall, a hand twisted in his shirt. He shouts out in surprise and pain, a sound completely ignored by Miyuki. Eijun wants to yell at him, punch him, because _what the hell?!_ but his protest is cut off by one look at Miyuki's face.

The catcher's eyes are blazing with fury - not even his carefully constructed shields, glass or otherwise, can hide it.

Eijun thinks he isn't as scared as he should be.

"My _problem_?" Kazuya hisses, pressing close enough that their noses touch. Sawamura shivers but he can't bring himself to care. " _My problem_ is that my boyfriend is an idiotic moron who doesn't know when to keep his mouth _shut_."

Sawamura opens his mouth, indignant, but there has never been a moment Kazuya wanted to hear a shouted denial less. He surges forward, determined to keep the idiot _silent_.

It's not as much a kiss as it is a painful clash of teeth, open mouthed and swallowed growls, hands grabbing at hair and clothing to pull closer.

"Whoa."

Eijun blinks, amber glowing and lips swollen and shiny once Miyuki lets him go. The catcher steps away, cheeks almost as red as his lips which he hides by wiping at them with a gloved hand. "Whatever I did - I need to do it more often!"

All the warning Eijun gets is another glare and a growl before he is hauled off.


	2. Miyusawa - 10 (Goodbye Kiss)

The sky fades from dark blue to hues of pink and gold, the sun peeking out from beyond the horizon. Watery beams of light curiously slip through the opening of a curtain, effortlessly cutting through glass and into a darkened room. They wander across twitching eyelids which slowly open to reveal slivers of brown.

"Sawamura." Kazuya murmurs sleepily, turning to nuzzle into a back warm from sleep. "Wake up. You have to go."

"Hnn...don't wanna..." comes the muffled answer, barely coherent and more unconscious than awake. "So warm..."

Kazuya smiles into Sawamura's neck, then sits up, pulling the blanket along with him. There's a noise of protest from beside him and an arm reaches out blindly to grab at the blanket. Grinning, Kazuya gives one swift yank, exposing both of them to chilly air.

"Up you get, Sawa – h-hey!"

Kazuya's grin quickly morphs into a shocked expression, eyes naked and vulnerable without his glasses. The outline of Sawamura above him is blurry but he doesn't need to see to know he's on his back and being held down.

"Think that's funny, do you?" Eijun growls, coming close. Miyuki's gaze is wide and searching but his mouth is turned upward in a beginnings of a smirk.

"Hilarious." he quips. Eijun collapses on top of him, a warm and heavy, but not wholly unwelcome weight. "Oof!"

"'s'not." Sawamura mumbles, face pressed in the dip between Kazuya's neck and shoulder. He shivers. "See? 's cold. But you're warm."

"That…makes no sense." Kazuya protests weakly when he can feel Sawamura start to kiss up his neck. Summoning as much strength as he can this early in the day, he brings up a hand to push Sawamura away. "C'mon, don't you remember last time you got caught?"

Barely an eyeblink later, Eijun is up and hopping around the room to pluck items of clothing off of random places. Miyuki watches in amusement from the bed, braced on his elbows, while Eijun nearly falls over in the process of pulling on a pair of pants.

"That's the wrong way around." Kazuya unhelpfully points out, grinning when Sawamura makes a cross between a dying whale sound and another growl. Sawamura glares at him, buttoning up his shirt unevenly and at the same time trying to flatten the bird's nest on his head unsuccessfully. "Don't you look dashing."

"Yeah, well, bye." Eijun snaps, more annoyed at himself and mornings in general than at Miyuki…to think he'd been so comfortable just minutes prior…but remembering pain from twisted limbs and obnoxious 'Hyahahas!' lend speed to his steps. Eijun stomps toward the door, hand already on the doorknob when he is stopped by Miyuki's voice.

"What, I don't get a goodbye kiss?" Kazuya pouts teasingly, lips turning upward in a smirk when Sawamura stiffens, then slumps and gives a defeated sigh. He marches back to the bed, kneeling beside him.

"Don't get any ideas, Miyuki Kazuya." Eijun mumbles, then presses warm, slightly chapped lips to Miyuki's.

Sawamura pulls away faster than Kazuya would like, the feeling of lips on his having barely registered before it's over.

"It's not like I like you or anything."

Sawamura's mumble is barely audible and Kazuya elects to just ignore it in favour of yanking him close to kiss him again.

Their mouths slide together, hot and moist, but unhurried, tongues lazily lapping at teeth, lips, each other.

They part, breathing a bit too heavily, and Kazuya gently bumps his forehead to Sawamura's.

" _That's_ a goodbye kiss. Not that thing from before." he admonishes him, voice a bit too breathless to make his confidence believable. Sawamura's eyes are crossed slightly in an effort to look at him this close, but Kazuya doesn't mind. He's drowning in molten amber, solid and defined. For a moment, he thinks Sawamura is going to protest when he opens his mouth. But there's a strangely calm silence between them, comfortable even though maybe it shouldn't be.

"Okay." Eijun eventually says, breath calming and heart beating strongly inside his chest. He leans in again, a bit more than that first press of lips, a bit less than the kiss before this one. "See you later."

For once, Kazuya is glad he can't see a damn thing without his glasses on because he doesn't want to know what Sawamura's face looks like when he stands and discovers the sappy smile he's wearing. But then he immediately regrets that thought because he _does_ want to see Sawamura's expression.

He's pretty sure it mirrors his own. Kazuya's smile becomes wider.

"See you later."


	3. Miyusawa - 18 ('Surprise' Kiss)

_This is bad._

Even with a mind as hazy as his, as it has been ever since that cursed game, Eijun realises how precarious the situation at hand is. The gaze missing its usual spark slides from the runner on third to Seidou's catcher.

Miyuki is unmoveable, a rock, grounding him in the midst of a sea of paralysing fear. Eijun can see his eyes, hard and full of concentration, from behind sharp, clear glass. They narrow, flickering sideways for just a split second before Miyuki signs to him. It's a pitch to the outside, but instead of relief, there's a flare of anger.

Kazuya's heart stops when Sawamura does the unthinkable.

The shake of his head may as well have been a scream, silencing the world around them with the attention it demands.

The pitcher looks up and Kazuya's heart starts again, speeding up in exhilaration. He grins, pure and joyous, adrenaline-drenched at the oh-so familiar light in amber depths.

 _To the inside, huh?_

Eijun gives an answering grin, mirroring Miyuki's and effectively chilling their opponents down to the core. He nods.

 _Let's do this._

Kazuya subtly shifts to the side, easily sliding back into the old stance, and holds up his mitt expectantly.

Eijun draws up his leg, the motion automatic, reassuring and safe by now. He balances for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

It seems like the whole stadium, the world even, holds their breath right along with Kazuya.

Then Eijun's arm comes out like a whip, fast like lightning. The ball leaves his fingertips, taking flight as it aims right for Miyuki's mitt. It lands with a sound like thunder, crackling loudly and echoing around the field.

Air whooshes out of Kazuya's lungs in one great gust of suppressed tension, punched out of him by the hard impact that glorious pitch has on his mitt.

The crowd's roaring returns in full force, jubilous shouting accompanying triumphant singing and booing the opponent as the inning is declared over.

Eijun doesn't do a fist pump or break out into his typical "Osh, osh, osh!" chant. Instead, he is still curiously silent, eyes fastened to Miyuki's like magnets.

The spell is broken by the Seidou team pouncing on him. He is suddenly besieged by a mass of too warm bodies, surrounded by laughter, relieved grins and smiles. There is underhanded praise too to which Eijun responds with much loud protest and a hidden grin.

Kazuya doesn't move, not consciously, anyway. His feet carry him toward the mound in measured steps, slow at first and then steadily gaining speed until he's sprinting. Just moments later, he stands in front of Sawamura, grinning too wildly for him to be considered normal. But he really doesn't care, doesn't mind that his emotions are so open, for once. Somehow, he never does, not around Sawamura. Somehow, he has always been the exception.

His helmet slips from his loose grasp onto the ground with a low thud.

"Miyuki Kazuya, what's with that creepy grin?" Eijun shouts over the heads of his teammates, interrupting himself with a cough when Isashiki thumps upon his back with a bit too much force. He looks up, eyes tearing slightly, freezing when he suddenly finds the Miyuki right in front of him. He's close. Too close. "What –"

The team of Seidou falls silent in shock when their star catcher pulls their loudmouth pitcher close – and kisses him soundly on the mouth. Sawamura's arms flail for a few seconds, helplessly hanging in the air until they fall to his sides, limp, when Miyuki shows no signs of letting go anytime soon.

Kazuya's eyes snap open, (very) belatedly becoming aware of just _what the hell_ he is doing. He pulls back, heart racing, but tries to pass off the kiss _because that's what it was_ as nothing more than a casual, friendly gesture. Kazuya forces his mouth to form his signature smirk, hoping it's not as stiff and lopsided as it feels.

"What _the actual_ fuck. _Dude_." Kuramochi hisses, voicing Kazuya's exact thoughts. He shrugs, thankfully hiding the way his shoulders are trembling. The rest of his teammates do nothing to offer help in any way, all staring at him with either shock or in accusation. Kominato's smile looks sharp and dangerous while Isashiki has gone pale and Yuuki's stoic expression somehow manages to look disappointed.

"Post-game tradition?" Kazuya tries to excuse his behaviour, glancing at Sawamura. For some reason, he's irrationally afraid of what the younger's response will be. Is he disgusted? Is he still going to ask for pitches? Does he –

"Post-game tradition, my a – whoa!"

The third years plus Kuramochi jump apart from the tight knot they have formed around Sawamura when the pitcher practically leaps at Miyuki. The only way the two of them don't lose balance is by the catcher gripping him around the waist tightly, more of an automatic reaction than requiring actual thought.

Eijun is stunned. That's truly the only word befitting his state of mind right now. Not hazy and blurry or clear and sharp. Just. Frozen.

Did.

Did Miyuki just kiss him?

Slim fingers lift to touch his still tingling lips as Miyuki tries to explain himself, amber eyes wide and seemingly unable to look away from the catcher yet again. Then the elder's eyes meet his, strangely fearful – and Eijun leaps into action before he even knows his body moved.

Lips are on lips again, hot from adrenaline and tasting of victory. It's a bit dry and Miyuki's glasses are in the way but after a bit of fumbling and head tilting it works out alright. Eijun can feel and taste the smile on Miyuki's lips. The next moment they're gone but still close enough to feel their warmth.

"You did it." Miyuki murmurs, breath warm like sunshine and voice wondrous. "You pitched to the inside."

Kazuya is still marvelling at the fact that Sawamura suddenly overcame what everyone thought was his downfall - and also that he apparently doesn't mind the kissing at all. As if to confirm that fact, Sawamura once more presses his lips to Kazuya's, grinning. Masuko gives a soft mournful sound ending in '-chan…' and Kuramochi pretends to retch into the field.

"Yeah." Eijun says, eyes warm and alive as they roam over Miyuki's face. What is this, he wonders, but he can't be bothered to find out, not right now. "I did."


	4. Miyusawa - 11 ('I Almost Lost You' Kiss)

A/N: This is a drabble which got a liiittle out of hand and has been split into 4 parts

* * *

 **(Hercules AU - Part 1)**

Whoever said that love is all happiness and roses is the biggest liar.

Because what is this, what Eijun feels, this tight feeling in his chest? Why does his heart feel like it's contracting and tearing itself apart? Why does its beat sound too loud in his ears, why can he hear himself breathe but his lungs are suffocating?

What is it that Eijun feels when he looks at Kazuya, limp and broken on the ground for him, to protect him, if not love?

The realisation couldn't have come at a worse point.

Eijun slowly reaches out a hand, shaking, and gently brushes back the fringe from Kazuya's face. He tries to glare at the lopsided smirk he is offered but his eyes feel hot and his vision is starting to blur.

"Why?" Eijun croaks, hating how weak he sounds, how weak he is. If only he hadn't made that damned deal! _This…_ , "Why did you do that?"

Kazuya's answering grin, cocky enough to almost let Eijun feel a familiar sting of irritation, is wiped off his face by a violent coughing fit.

This is all Eijun's fault.

Everything hurts, from where the boulder brushed his head to where most of the pain is emanating from his crushed ribcage and his spine which he swears is cracking. He doesn't know if he should be grateful that any feeling below his waist has disappeared or not.

Kazuya can barely breathe because he can feel bone poking into his lungs every time they expand - it's a very peculiar, very unpleasant sensation. The cough just adds on to all of this and when it finally, finally subsides, his eyesight is starting to go black around the edges. The only good thing about this is that he is in so much pain that his body starts to go numb.

"Do I really need to say it?" he rasps, pale as he forces himself to smile. It's weak and brittle, just like him. Kazuya tries to reach up a hand to touch Eijun's face but only makes it halfway before it falls back to his side. "People do stupid things, when they're in love."

Eijun doesn't try to hide his crying, a strange mixture of relief, fear, happiness and desperation making his head swim. Eijun slides a hand into Kazuya's and squeezes lightly. He tries to smile, to speak, but it comes out as a sob.

"You love me?"

Kazuya squeezes back, concentrating hard as he can feel himself slip away. His smirk almost looks real, but is soft instead of sharp, nearly a smile.

"That's what I just said, idiot."

"Jerk." Eijun sniffs, the response automatic, a laugh and a cry at the same time. "I love y - Kazuya?"

But Kazuya doesn't respond. The soft almost-smile is frozen on his face, his eyes blank. Lifeless. The hand in Eijun's is still warm but limp.

Eijun can't hear anything but loud static noises, crackling like lightning hitting the ground. He's trembling all over but he doesn't notice.

"No. No."

He takes Kazuya's face between his hands, searching it for something that tells him this. Isn't. Real.

"No – you can't be – this isn't happening!"

But it is and Kazuya doesn't move, doesn't respond, doesn't offer a snarky remark. Eijun never expected to actually miss it.

And it hurts.

It burns, low in his stomach, bubbling up until it reaches his heart, his head. Pain, anger, frustration – rage sets his eyes afire as he looks up, Kazuya in his arms.

"This isn't the end."


	5. Miyusawa - 11 Part 2

**(Hercules AU - Part 2)**

"I'm not letting it end. Give him back."

Inashiro, the three-headed guard dog behind Eijun, gives an impressive growl to back him up. Even though he is nothing but human now, he barely even needs their support with how every fibre of his being is brimming with righteous anger and grief, lending Eijun a presence which is almost god-like.

Ochiai barely even responds, at least not visibly. Merely glancing down at the fist twisted into the front of his robe, his eyes glint slyly while his mouth curls downward in displeasure.

"He is dead. I do believe that means it ended. He ended. Miyuki," he emphasises the name, watching a spasm of pain flash across Eijun's face, "rightfully belongs to the Underworld."

"No, he doesn't! I refuse to believe that!" Eijun spat back, shaking the Death God by the robe. "He…he died because of me! It's my fault!"

Hiding his irritation, Ochiai disentangles Eijun's fingers from his robe and smooths it out.

"So? He still died. Nothing to be done about it." Ochiai replies nonchalantly. Eijun growls involuntarily, lips drawn back to bare his teeth. "…but if you feel that strongly about it…"

Eijun's heart skips a beat at the pause, obviously designed to reel him in.

He can't resist. Just the prospect, just a tiny glimmer of hope…

"What? What do you want?"

"Anything. I'll do anything you want."

Even as Eijun says it he can see that he has fallen into a trap, that Ochiai's eyes flicker in triumph and burn in cold fire. Eijun can't suppress a shiver but he holds the Death God's stare.

"Anything?" Ochiai repeats, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he averts his eyes and pretends to think. His thin lips turn upward in a sharp smirk but unlike the one Eijun loves this one sends fear through him.

Eijun nods.

"Well, if you're offering."

Ochiai abruptly stands aside, gesturing for Eijun to walk past him and toward an eerie green glow, flickering off the insides of the hall like the reflection of water.

It is.

A swirling vortex of poisonous, sickening green, a never-ending lake filled with the souls of the dead. There are many, most in fact, faces Eijun doesn't recognise, something he's glad for. But then his gaze is caught by a form too familiar, too fresh in his mind –

"Kazuya!"

"Ah, ah." Ochiai pulls Eijun back by one arm, his other out stretched toward Kazuya in an unconscious gesture, eyes fastened to his lifeless, ethereal form. "Not so fast."

Eijun unwillingly forces himself to face the God by his side, fixing him with a glare.

"What do you want?"

And the Death God smiles.

It chills Eijun to the bone.

"You. In exchange for him."

Eijun doesn't even have to think about it (because despite all of Kazuya's jabs and insults, he does use his brain. Sometimes).

For the second time in less than twentyfour hours Eijun makes a life-altering decision, the only difference being that this time he knows what it might cost him.

But it's a price he's willing to pay.

"Deal."


	6. Miyusawa - 11 Part 3

**(Hercules AU - Part 3)**

Eijun barely even sees Ochiai's smirk before he looks away from him, once more seeking out Kazuya. Focusing on him, he dives in and begins to swim.

It doesn't feel like water.

It feels clingy, cold, hindering him more than it lets him glide through. Eijun can feel some of the souls grasping at him, brushing him with their too cold, too flimsy fingers or with some wispy, cobweb hair. It should make him shudder, recoil in disgust and fear, but he perseveres, keeps his attention firmly fixed upon Kazuya.

He's so far away. Too far.

Eijun swings his arm forward, determined to push through. He doesn't see how it begins to become sinewy, the skin loose, wrinkles and age spots appearing. He doesn't notice his muscles diminish, weaken, doesn't notice the too soon burn in them or the ache deep in his bones.

All he sees is Kazuya, coming just a little closer with every motion, every movement Eijun makes in his direction. All he feels is bottomless longing, the hope to touch him again and feel him warm and alive underneath his fingertips.

Just.

A bit.

Closer.

But then Eijun begins to notice how his body is weakening, how his heartbeat is much too slow, painful, his chest heavy with pressure from lack of breath. He panics, not due to the souls surrounding him, pushing and pulling at him, but from the fear of not being able to save the person he loves. The one he would and is giving up his life for.

He puts every bit of concentration he can into reaching Kazuya, stretching his already straightened arm just a little more.

If he can touch him, just one more time, just for a moment, just a fragile brush of skin on the pure essence of Kazuya's soul –

The very tips of Eijun's fingers finally come into contact with Kazuya's hand – and everything is warm, bright, golden.

Ochiai doesn't bother to keep watching until the failed hero's demise. There is no need to. He knows how this will end. His plan may not have gone perfectly but events played out in his favour.

Everything will still become the way Ochiai wants it to. A small, self-satisfied smile appears on his face as he turns away from the Sea of the Dead.

"I will be leaving."

The God of the Underworld stops, back straightening as he stiffens.

It can't be.

He slowly turns, masking his outrage and surprise behind a pair of raised eyebrows.

There Eijun stands, surrounded by and giving off a glow of gold, with Kazuya's soul in his arms. Ochiai's eyes widen by a fraction, one hand tightening into a fist by his side.

"This…complicates things." he says slowly, still shocked. Eijun walks past him, jaw set and eyebrows drawn downward.

"Not really."

Eijun feels different. He feels strong again, but it's a different kind of strength now in addition to his body's regular power.

He doesn't need to hear an explanation to know what he has finally become, finally earned the right to call himself a true hero.

True heroes don't let villains win.

So when Ochiai reaches out a hand to pull him back, Eijun doesn't even glance at him as he twists away violently. He does turn around to stare at him with intense anger and is pleased to see the Death God falter, just by a little.

Eijun takes a step toward him and Ochiai unconsciously moves backward. The hero's face expression doesn't change as he keeps coming closer and the Death God steps away.

Then Eijun suddenly stops and grins. It's a terrifying grin which displays all his teeth and even manages to instil a little bit of fear into Ochiai.

"Nice deal. Let's never do it again."

And with those words, Eijun finally turns and leaves.

Behind him, the souls have crept up on Ochiai and are taking hold of his robe. The God doesn't notice until he is tugged and pulled into a swirl of poison green and damnation, his protests and screams drowned out by moans of the dead.


	7. Miyusawa - 11 Part 4

**(Hercules AU - Part 4)**

Eijun approaches Kazuya's prone form, his steps slowing. He looks so broken and pale, his face drawn in pain but still with that almost smile frozen on his face. Eijun looks down at the ethereal soul in his arms.

It's even paler than Kazuya's body, translucent, fragile.

They have that in common.

Sinking to his knees, Eijun carefully, reverently, and with no small amount of nervous anticipation places soul above body. Unsure of what to do, he simply lets go and watches life melt back into Kazuya.

Kazuya is in a daze.

Everything is dark, murky, muffled. It's almost comforting.

Nothing hurts which Kazuya appreciates – or he would, if he could feel anything.

There is no warm, cold, anger, pain, sadness, happiness. He doesn't even know where 'here' is. He knows and feels nothing.

And maybe that's also exactly where he is – nowhere at all.

Then there is suddenly a feeling, a sensation, _something_. It spreads throughout his whole body – _he has a body_ \- warmth, gold, the beat of a heart and a breath like a deep sigh.

Another beat and a third. Fourth. Fifth… his blood sluggishly begins to move.

More air streams into his lungs. They expand, filling them to their full capacity.

Kazuya gasps and opens his eyes wide.

The first thing he sees are innocuous shapes moving above him. There are some muffled sounds, somehow insistent and almost annoying. He is almost tempted to just close his eyes again, to just drift away. But then something catches his attention. A name. _His_ name.

"…zuya? Kazuya, can you hear me?"

His hearing and vision suddenly sharpen and focus on what he actually is seeing and just who it is who is calling him. Kazuya's eyes grow even wider and his mouth opens slightly in speechless shock.

"Eijun?"

A wobbly smile and barely suppressed sob is his answer and only warning before he is engulfed in a warm and suffocating hug.

"Kazuya!" Eijun sobs out, his face pressed into his neck. Kazuya's wonderfully warm, _alive_ neck, heartbeat underneath skin thrumming.

"L-let go. You're gonna kill me again." Kazuya wheezes, but he isn't making any effort to move out of the hug. In fact, he clings to Eijun with as much strength as he can which is why he is unpleasantly surprised when Eijun suddenly does lets go.

""I – I'm so sorry."

Kazuya blinks. An apology is not what he had been expecting.

"What for?"

The little distance between them is suddenly too much, too cold. Kazuya shivers.

"Y-you died. Because of me. Because – " Eijun breaks off, looking away when his eyes start to feel suspiciously warm again. The tears of joy on his face still haven't dried.

"You're an idiot." Kazuya states, his face serious but the corner of his mouth is twitching. "I didn't die _because_ of you. I died _for_ you."

Eijun stares at him with wide eyes, thoughts of crying forgotten. He opens his mouth to speak but Kazuya isn't done.

"You shouldn't use your head so much. It's bad for your health." he teases, breaking out into a grin when Eijun scowls. Anything is better than seeing him as broken as he had done moments before, even if only a little bit.

"But you still died." Eijun argues, not letting go of the issue. He comes close and clasps Kazuya's face between his hands. "And you dying _for_ me doesn't make me any less guilty."

Kazuya falls silent, not because of a lack of words but because Eijun is tired of staying away.

Eyes shut automatically as lips finally meet, past love confessions, past death.

Everything is salty tears, warmth, hope, love and gold – always gold.

It isn't just one kiss, not truly, as it is a multitude of small kisses, repeated brushes of lips against lips, soft and safe, a happiness tempered by deep relief soothing still fresh grief.

There is time.

Once they part, they stay close, Eijun's hands around Kazuya's face, Kazuya's hands on Eijun's. Their foreheads lean on to one another and their breath intermingles warm between them, silent and content.

Then Kazuya smiles, edging towards a smirk. It's not soft but not sharp either.

"You know, you never told me you loved me back."

Eijun almost cries again at the sight of that smirk. He can finally admit to himself that it sets his insides aflutter. But he presses his lips together in a line and mock frowns at Kazuya instead.

"You died in the middle of my confession. You have horrible manners."

"Why, thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment, asshole."

But then Eijun ducks in for another kiss, taking the sting out of the insult – though he has an inkling it stopped being one a long time ago.

They part again for another breath and just before he kisses Kazuya again, it comes out like a sigh, a breath on the wind, like a trail of gold left by the dying rays of the sun or the streak of a falling star.

"I love you too."


	8. Miyusawa 21'Jealous' Kiss-specialreq

**Miyusawa + 21/'Jealous' Kiss (plus Koushuu - specific request)**

"Pitch for me."

Eijun almost winces. How was he so unaware of how annoying it could be to hear that constant plea, no, demand?

Sure, at first he was exhilarated and incredibly flattered - truth be told, he still is. But after realising just how much of his pitching time the first year catcher takes up, Eijun has started to become antsy.

He still wants to pitch, he always does, his fingers practically itching for it, but.

But.

There's a reason for it, one he realised not too long ago and is still somewhat in denial about.

So Eijun turns with a half-smile on his face and a rejection on his tongue when he catches sight of his reason.

Kazuya watches Koushuu approach Sawamura with his typical call for the second year's pitches, eyes narrowing. It has become an irritatingly regular sight on the field, much to the surprise of everyone, especially Sawamura.

It's almost nostalgic, that call for more pitches, if just one word were to be replaced, if it was just a little louder, if the intonation was just a bit different.

If it was directed at him from below burning amber and emerging from loud red.

But it's not and so Kazuya watches the scene unfold like it has done far too many times since the beginning of the year.

Something like hot acid bubbles in his stomach and slowly poisons the blood in his veins, reaching for his heart. He can't quite control the flash of anger sparking in his eyes as they meet Sawamura's across the field.

The rejection dies, slithering back down Eijun's throat and leaving a taste like ash and glowing coals in his mouth. Glaring back at Miyuki defiantly, he finally faces Koushuu. His teeth flash as he grins and nods.

"Sure! Lead the way."

There's a small shine of excitement in Koushuu's eyes at the enthusiastic agreement even though the rest of his face remains blank. The first year nods and turns, steps becoming faster and betraying his enthusiasm as he speeds toward the catcher/pitcher practice area. Eijun makes to follow when he hears his name called out.

"Oi, Sawamura, come over here for a bit!"

Eijun almost doesn't turn, still annoyed at that completely uncalled for glare earlier, but then sighs in defeat.

That voice is just too irritating to ignore.

"What do you want? Koushuu's waiting for me!" he shouts back, barely glancing back at the team captain.

"It's important." Miyuki coaxes, a grin in his voice but with an obvious annoyed edge. "It will only take a moment."

Eijun rolls his eyes, shooting Koushuu an apologetic look. The first year catcher is standing by the practice area, still as ever but giving off a vibe of impatience. He shrugs. Eijun finally turns around and stomps over to where Miyuki is waiting, a smirk on his face which only grows wider the closer he gets.

God, how much he hates it, the hot flash of irritation it sends throughout his body, the way it tenses him up. How much he has to fight to suppress that embarrassing low burn in the pit of his stomach, slow, languid and growing stronger the more he tries to ignore it.

It never works. Eijun has lost count of how many times he has lost that battle.

Mornings are the worst because while he can get rid of it fairly inconspicuously, it reinforces just how far gone he is for that prickly bastard.

It's almost comedic, how easy it is for Kazuya to push away his annoyance the closer Sawamura comes, how much lighter and more genuine his grin feels. He can feel the pitcher's annoyance roll off of him in waves, becoming more distinct with every step.

"What do you want?" Sawamura snaps once he stands in front of him, arms crossed and eyebrows drawn downward in irritation. Kazuya almost smiles at that.

"Ah, it's…" he pauses, grabbing Sawamura by the arm who lets out a squawk of surprise and annoyance. Kazuya ignores it, dragging him away and off the field.

"H-hey!" Eijun struggles against the third year's grip on his wrist, trying to ignore how the touch makes his skin tingle. It's surprisingly gentle, despite holding him in place. "L-let go! What are you – where are we going?!"

"Sawamura."

Miyuki abruptly stops once they're below the bleachers though his hand stays closed around Eijun's wrist. He tries hard not to notice how warm it feels, tries not to look and instead concentrate on captain's face.

It's a mistake because he looks serious, mouth pressed into a thin line and furrowed eyebrows. It's a mistake because that's the look Miyuki gives to those who are about to get their asses handed to them.

Eijun tries to back up before he feels resistance at his wrist and grimaces; right, he's being held in place.

"Look, whatever I did, _I'm sorry_. I won't do it again. Just – please don't hurt me?"

He hates how he almost sounds like he's whimpering by the end, eyes squeezing shut as if he anticipates a karate chop for his wrongdoings.

 _Wait, wrong senpai._

Kazuya pushes out air through his nose in annoyance at the sight of Sawamura cowering in front of him. He squeezes his wrist in attempt to get him to look at him but the eyes he's grown too fond of don't open.

"Sawamura," he repeats, tugging at the pitcher's arm ineffectively. Pinching his eyes shut and sending a silent prayer up to the powers that be, Kazuya takes a breath and steps right in front of him. "Sawamura, look at me."

Eijun can't disobey Miyuki's tone, low, just a little bit threatening and embarrassingly attractive. He reluctantly opens his eyes – and jumps backward at how close Miyuki is.

"Miyuki Kazuya!" he shouts right into his face, making them both flinch. "W-what is it?! I-I need to go – Koshuu's waiting –"

Kazuya growls and before he even knows what he is doing, his mouth is on Sawamura's, hot and red.

Miyuki finally lets go of Eijun's wrist but he doesn't think about leaving. In fact, he isn't even thinking at all; his mind is completely blank as it's trying to register what. The. _Fuck_. Is. Happening.

Then Miyuki's hands start to wander, one going around his waist, the other on his cheek and Eijun's breath stutters. The strange, low heat in his stomach burns hotter as it suddenly boils over – and he finally moves.

Except he doesn't get try to get away from Miyuki anymore but meets him halfway, his own arms winding around him.

Kazuya can feel that black poison fade once he slim, strong hands grasp at his hair, his clothing. It's taken over by its constant companion, heat which sits low in his bones and is seeping into his blood and veins, setting him on fire.

He wonders if it has anything to do with the passionate pitcher in his arms, giving off his own heat as that normally loud mouth doesn't produce anything but soft gasps and whimpers which Kazuya swallows.

Eijun breaks away first, hands still in Miyuki's hair and faces still close enough to feel the warmth between them. Miyuki stares at him, not moving away. Eijun's skin burns where they're touching. He can feel hot puffs of air on his face and is suddenly glad to know he isn't the only one who is so affected.

For a while there's nothing but uninterrupted gazing and silence, punctuated by slowly regulating breaths of air.

"You…you kissed me." Eijun owlishly, breaking it. Miyuki blinks, as if he's just realising the fact.

Maybe he is.

Maybe, for a change, Eijun isn't the only one here who is slow.

"I..I did." Kazuya belatedly replies, forgetting he owes Sawamura an answer.

It's difficult to be coherent when it's the first time in what seems like forever to have that amber intensity directed solely at _him_.

Then Kazuya can't help but smile, a bit stunned.

"You kissed back." he realises, smile widening.

Eijun watches, awed, as Miyuki smiles.

It's beautiful and rare, like an eclipse and only there for a glimpse.

"I did." Eijun admits, but his own answering smile is emerging, like a sunrise. Then he frowns slightly. "Why now?"

Miyuki's expression darkens and the smile is gone. Eijun mourns it's absence but he has a feeling he'll see it again soon.

"Koushuu."

"Koushuu?"

When Miyuki doesn't stop glaring, it finally makes click and Eijun laughs.

"You're jealous? Really?"

Kazuya deepens his glare but that only makes Sawamura laugh harder. Glancing around, he realises they are starting to attract attention. Haruichi has his head turned in their direction and is slowly becoming the same shade as his hair while Kuramochi takes a few threatening steps toward them.

"Hey, shut up. Everyone's looking." Kazuya warns but it only results in Sawamura taking his hands off of him to wipe away tears of mirth. He's embarrassed by how disappointed he is at the lack of warmth.

"Make me." Eijun challenges Kazuya, a glint in his eye and not as surprised as before when warm lips meet his once again.


	9. Miyusawa - 21 (Jealous Kiss)

MiyuSawa + 21/Jealous Kiss

Summary: This time, it's Eijun who gets jealous

 _Vultures_.

As soon as that unbidden thought pops up, Eijun freezes in surprise. His eyes are glued to the small gaggle of giggling, blushing girls surrounding Miyuki; one of the many frequent ambushes his fan club does during breaks. But precisely because it happens so often, Eijun should be used to it. It's normal.

And that's exactly why he's shocked at himself. He knows it doesn't mean anything. He knows that Miyuki has absolutely _no interest whatsoever_ in any of those girls. So why does it still bother him so much?

One of the girls is bold enough to lay a hand on Miyuki's arm, smiling coyly as she twirls a strand of hair around her finger. His back is turned toward Eijun so he can't see what his face looks like, but then his head turns slightly. Miyuki's mouth moves; it must have been something funny judging by how the girl's smile brightens. Her laugh rings out clearly, even among the chattering noise surrounding them. Miyuki's shoulders look tense.

Eijun's hands unconsciously clench into fists, his mouth drawn downward in the corners. He never really thought about it, never would have pegged himself as the jealous type. He hates the boiling, bubbling acidic feeling in his stomach and chest, an unpleasant heat slowly eroding sympathy and reason. He stands.

"Eijun?" Haruichi's voice breaks through the hot haze of his thoughts. He sounds concerned; Eijun blinks and looks over at him. Haruichi has laid his chopsticks down while Furuya has his raised halfway toward his mouth, eyes showing vague interest and mild surprise. "Is something wrong?"

Eijun has to blink again, trying to think of what to say; he unconsciously glances over at Miyuki, caught between the lunch queue and the seating area. Haruichi turns to try and see what he's looking at, smiling in surprised amusement at what he finds.

"Why don't you go get Miyuki-senpai? He looks like he needs the help."

Eijun flinches, eyes wide as he stares down at Haruichi and mouth slightly agape. Furuya slowly resumes eating, still listening with one ear.

"Huh?"

Haruichi snorts.

"Just go, will you? Your food's getting cold." When Eijun still doesn't move, Haruichi sighs in exasperation and stands. Giving him a small push, he points at the oblivious crowd of girls. "He looks uncomfortable. Go get him so he can eat in peace."

Eijun, after shooting a look at Haruichi somewhere between mild panic and indignant, slowly starts to move. His feet carry him toward Miyuki and his fanclub faster than he would like and at the same too slow. He can feel his palms begin to get clammy the closer he draws, until he's right behind Miyuki. The girl, still twirling her hair but – thank god – with her hands to herself, raises an eyebrow at him in mild surprise. Eijun forces himself to smile, clearing his throat as he places a hand on Miyuki's shoulder.

"Senpai, are you coming? Lunch is almost over."

Miyuki turns his head to look at Eijun, something like shock and even relief flashing across his face before schooling it into his customary smirk.

"My, my, since when do you have manners? Finally starting to respect me as your senpai, hmm?" he teases, getting a familiar rise out of him. Eijun immediately forgets that sickening acid bubbling up inside him, replaced by that almost welcome feeling of irritation and exasperated fondness.

"Don't get your hopes up, shitty four-eyes. Just making sure you're strong enough to catch my pitches later, since you suck. You need all the help you can get." Eijun shoots back, missing the shocked gasps and whispers erupting from the girls at his blatant disrespect. Miyuki's smirk widens into a grin, completely unaffected.

"Aw, so you _do_ care."

Eijun blows up his cheeks, turning a bit red, as he crosses his arms. Turning his back on him with a huff, he starts to stomp back toward the table. He glances back at Miyuki, still standing in place and looking strangely lost, even among his crowd of admirers. His expression is slightly pinched, the girls surrounding him looking at Eijun with varying degrees of distaste on their faces. Eijun's throat becomes inexplicably tight.

"You coming, bastard?" he calls out defiantly, for a moment afraid that he's gone too far when Miyuki's gaze meets his. But then he smiles, an actual smile that's too soft for how public this is and almost sends Eijun into a bit of a panic while simultaneously making his legs go a little weak.

"Jeez, Bakamura. You really do have a long way to go until you can be unleashed on to society."

Before Eijun can say anything else, Miyuki finally starts to move, barely even paying attention to the girls. Eijun's face starts to burn when Miyuki's stare doesn't let up, an answering heat to an unusually determined glint in his eyes – unusual, as that kind of look is normally reserved for private moments or for on the field. His mouth starts to open, to try and stutter in protest to – to what exactly?

Then Miyuki is right beside him and still coming closer, until his tray is pressed into Eijun's side – and his lips are pressed to his.

Once again, Eijun freezes.

Is this really happening? In front of everyone?

His mind is in a daze but still able to process the sudden dead silence in the whole cafeteria. Miyuki pulls back, grinning at how stunned Eijun is, but with a soft fondness in his eyes at his vibrant blush.

"Thanks for rescuing me." he whispers, still close enough to feel his breath. Eijun can't reply; even though his own recovery is slow, casual conversation is already starting to fill the room again. Miyuki looks over his shoulder to wink at his shell-shocked fanclub. "See you, ladies."

This time, Miyuki is the first to move and finally sits down to eat. Eijun follows behind a heartbeat later, now not only bright red but also irritated. Furuya pays them no attention while Haruichi hides his smile by lifting his bowl to his lips.

"What did you do that for?" Eijun begins in a furious whisper. Miyuki shrugs.

"They were starting to annoy me. Besides, we've been dating for a while, so I thought why not just show it?"

"You bastard – "

Miyuki stops eating, lips curling upward in the corners.

"Why are you so mad? I thought you'd appreciate it. Since you also seem to get jealous whenever they're around."

"I'm _not_ jealous –"

"He is." Furuya interrupts, oblivious to how Haruichi is signalling him to stay out of it. Miyuki grins triumphantly while Eijun glares at him, betrayed. The fight goes right out of him though when he turns to face Miyuki and finds an unusually soft smile on his face.

It's not fair how easy it is for him to take the wind out of his sails. Eijun swallows.

That bastard.

"I hate you." Eijun tells him with a lot less heat than he would like. Miyuki grins and bumps his shoulder with his.

"I know."


	10. Miyusawa - 25 (We Can Never Be Together)

asked by kyykhy on tumblr - MiyuSawa + 25/We Can Never Be Together Kiss (Part 1)*

Summary: What if Eijun had gone to Inashiro instead of Seidou? (Rival AU)

* * *

 _I should've gone to Inashiro_ , Kazuya thinks, not quite irate as a thrilling sense of excitement and anticipation is currently thrumming in his veins. He's standing in the batter's box, right across from the first year pitcher who replaced Mei at the beginning of this inning.

At first, Kazuya doesn't think much of him. For a first year, he seems exceedingly arrogant in addition to being very loud, evidenced by his incessant, enthusiastic encouragement from the dugout as he cheers on his teammates in a manner that manages to sound both flattering and insulting. The fact that he passes by Mei on the way to the mound with a near reverent expression on his face does nothing to make Kazuya like him any better.

And then the first year changes. As soon as he takes his place on the mound, he draws the wild energy he gives off around him like a cloak. It strains his muscles as he moves into position, shines out of his eyes, which are directed at Kazuya like burning, yellow-gold beam. He shivers but the grip on his bat only tightens, his smirk widens in anticipation. Then the first year suddenly smiles, a dangerous smile which would have sent anyone else running but all it does is pass a mutual message between them.

 _Bring it on._

The practice match is over in a blur and it's a close call – Inashiro wins by a single run. Kazuya can't even bring himself to be angry; he barely even feels a dull stab of disappointment and he's quickly distracted from it as he's unexpectedly tapped on the shoulder from behind. Stepping aside to let the rest of his teammates on the bus, he turns around only to come face to face with the fascinating first year pitcher.

He's alone, fidgeting in a way that seems much too insecure for what behaviours he displayed earlier. He's quiet, like he was on the mound, but much less intense. His face is tinged red and, when after a few more seconds he still refuses to meet Kazuya's eyes, he raises an eyebrow in surprised amusement.

"What is it?" he asks, shifting his weight from one foot to another, at the same time that the first year bursts out, "Sawamura Eijun!"

Kazuya blinks while the first year goes even redder and chews on his lower lip.

"Excuse me?"

"My name. It's – Sawamura Eijun.", he explains, a bit quieter than he introduced himself. Kazuya gapes for a second and then slowly smirks. _What an interesting guy_.

"Well, Sawamura Eijun.", he draws out the name slowly. He ignores how Sawamura seems to shiver and holds out a hand. "I'm Miyuki Kazuya."

His hand is taken and Kazuya is once again surprised; he expects an enthusiastic response but what he gets is a firm handshake, dry and warm and not at all rough like first impressions suggested. It's accompanied by a slow smile, like a rising sun and just as radiant.

"Pleased to meet you.", the sun boy says, and Miyuki can only nod dazedly, "Miyuki Kazuya."

* * *

Against the odds, Eijun manages to get Miyuki's number from Mei, though to be quite honest, it isn't that difficult. Mei seems to favour Eijun with his hero worship, something he quickly learned makes it easier to get along with the prince of Inashiro, as he has been dubbed. Aside from that, Mei really is a terrific player and deserves the ace title, Eijun has been forced to admit. Not that he'll ever stop trying to take it from him.

So Eijun agonises for an embarrassingly long time about what to message Miyuki once he has obtained the number, discarding all the usual ways of greeting someone via text and coming up with one outrageous idea after another (one involving a crate of flamingos and a flashy billboard) before circling back to the beginning at settling on a simple _Hi, how are you? It's Sawamura Eijun_. All that agonising counts for nothing anyhow, as somehow that message sets off a barrage of back and forth banter. Soon, they begin to meet in person, both equally intrigued by one another's playing style and perhaps something more, something neither is willing to admit, yet.

The meetings between Eijun and Miyuki are numerous while the practice matches between Seidou and Inashiro are not, but the increasing familiarity between the two becomes more obvious with every time the teams meet. It doesn't take long for Miyuki's team mates to catch on though it really is Mei and the three players surrounding him at all times that worry Eijun. They corner him on the day of the semi finals; they've just won their match, increasing their chances to go to Koushien, and Eijun is impatient to watch Seidou's match, due to start any minute.

"What?" he asks, not bothering to hide his annoyance at them ganging up on him. Mei is suspiciously missing but Eijun is too wound up to notice or care. The three exchange meaningful looks and then launch into an explanation of exactly 'what'. Eijun wishes he never would have asked and just left them there, because what they say is nothing he ever wanted to hear.

Stay away from Miyuki, they say. He's not just from a rival school but Mei's rival. It's either Mei or Miyuki, Inashiro or Seidou. It's winning or losing, and Inashiro, Mei, can never lose, especially against Miyuki, ever. They say more, things like how can Eijun be trusted when he has _friendly relations,_ and there's a tone in there which Carlos uses that he doesn't like at all, with the enemy, because that's what Seidou, what Miyuki, really is and how can he still do his best as one of Inashiro's pitchers? How can he stay loyal to Inashiro when he's –

"What?" Eijun asks again, but strangely hoarse now when Shirakawa falls silent. Another look is exchanged and Carlos finishes the sentence.

How can he stay loyal to Inashiro when Eijun's in love with someone on another team?

Eijun sputters, wants to protest but his mouth feels dry, his throat tight and his eyes strangely hot. Even when he finally manages to utter a strangled denial, it convinces no one – not even himself. They leave him there after another silence which speaks as loudly as a verbal confession would have, except it left nothing hidden the way words tend to do.

* * *

Seidou wins and Kazuya is elated. He doesn't express it in loud cheers like his teammates but he does grin widely, taking off his helmet as his gaze distractedly, and without expressively meaning to, seeks out a specific face in the huge crowd surrounding them. Too concentrated during the game to let himself do it earlier, he manages to find a familiar pair of bright, warm gold eyes among the many people. He doesn't even know how but he doesn't question it; Sawamura draws him to him like a magnet, like a moth to a flame, and Kazuya's guard is lowered by the exhilaration the win brings. He doesn't fight it, doesn't even notice when he takes a step toward Sawamura instead of the team.

Somehow, they find themselves alone together, not in the dugout but nearby, close enough that Kazuya can still feel Kuramochi's curious gaze digging into his back but not close enough to hear, he hopes, because something in Sawamura's eyes is hard, not soft and happy like they had looked earlier from a distance. It suddenly becomes clear to him that Sawamura is about to tell him something, well, _serious_ , for lack of better term, and Kazuya has covered his mouth with a hand before he knows what he's done. Sawamura's eyes are wide above his hand and somehow, the roars of the crowd still, as Kazuya becomes aware of the soft, warm skin beneath his palm. He swallows, throat dry and he still doesn't know why.

"Don't say it.", he tells Sawamura, almost begging and wonders what exactly he's asking for. That gaze, warm like sunlight, suddenly blazes, and Kazuya's hand is taken off of Sawamura's mouth in a surprisingly gentle manner. Sawamura's hand feels as dry and warm as he remembers, hard from callouses bearing witness to hard work. Kazuya has no time to marvel at it though, no time to process that Sawamura is still holding his hand, even caressing it a bit like a precious commodity he'll never again have the luxury to experience.

"I'm sorry." Sawamura says, a sincere apology tinged with a heavy sadness Kazuya can feel settling in the depths of his stomach. It makes his heart sink as a realisation starts to stir in the back of his mind; he pushes it away like he has for months now, too afraid to acknowledge it. He tries to muster up a smirk instead, summoning a mask that's beginning to feel too brittle.

"For what?"

Sawamura's eyes soften and instead of replying, Kazuya feels warm, soft lips press against his in a chaste kiss. Warm and soft, like a lot about Sawamura, he thinks a bit incoherently, as he attempts to make sense of what's happening. Then his eyes fall shut and he can't think anymore, even as Sawamura pulls away after what barely feels like a second. Kazuya manages to open his eyes again with some difficulty, heavy-lidded and a little bit lightheaded. His stomach does a weird flip and his brain spits out an _Oh_.

"For that, I think." Sawamura breathes, still close enough that Kazuya can feel the words vibrate on his skin, hot. Kazuya shivers and raises his eyes to meet Sawamura's, interlocking. Almost on automatic, he leans in, but this time he is the one who is stopped with a hand against his lips. It's strangely cold and he shivers again. It's not a good shiver.

"What is it?" he means to ask but his question only comes out as suppressed garble. Still, he gets his reply when Sawamura slowly shakes his head with his eyes still focused on Kazuya's. It's intense, but a different kind of intensity than it is when they're on the field.

"I – this – I can't!", he explains in a rush, a tone asking for understanding though Kazuya is unsure for what.

"Huh?" he makes a confused sound and Sawamura finally breaks eye contact for a moment. Kazuya's dazed mind sharpens and his fumbled explanation is beginning to make a little more sense. The heavy feeling in his stomach turns into something decidedly unpleasant, roiling. "What, why?"

Sawamura stares at him for a bit. If it was anyone else, Kazuya would say they're speechless, except that this is _Sawamura_. Sawamura can't be speechless. Except –

Except he is. His mouth opens and closes in an almost comical manner but Kazuya doesn't feel like laughing.

"Because you're from Seidou and I'm from Inashiro.", Sawamura finally says, "Because we're _rivals_."

There seems to be a bitterness attached to the last word, curiously emphasised. It sinks in along with all the _why's_ behind everything Kazuya has felt toward and realised about Sawamura, sinks along with his heart until heaviness saturates his body. Somehow, the feeling of lightheaded victory has completely dissipated.

While Kazuya is still making sense of everything, Sawamura gently lets go of his hand and steps back. He turns to leave and Kazuya finally moves, latching on to his sleeve like a child scared of being left alone.

"What if I don't care?" he asks, voice stronger than he feels even though he doesn't even know what he's saying anymore. What doesn't he care about?

 _Petty rivalries_ , his mind supplies. All those _why's_ are being answered and Kazuya can no longer hide. But to his shock, Sawamura doesn't look surprised at all, or if he does, it's hidden behind the sad smile his face should never, ever wear.

"We can't be together," he gently tells Kazuya, prying away his fingers from his sleeve. He holds his hand for just a little longer than prudent, giving it a small squeeze, before releasing it, "because I do."

 _Oh._

That hurts, more than it probably should. Kazuya wants to name this feeling, wants to know what exactly it is that makes his heart squeeze painfully at the admission. But maybe he can say something, change Sawamura's mind – it's too early to give up and too late for him to realise what he wants.

"Ever?", he tries, hoping to get a smile and a laugh, something that would give him reason to nurture the hope he doesn't want to crush. But Sawamura doesn't give him any of those things, instead dispelling the fragility of that feeling with a single headshake.

"Never."

It sounds melodramatic to Kazuya but he still can't stop Sawamura when he finally does leave, still can't move, can't do anything but watch him go.

Never isn't something he realised barred him from what he wants. He didn't even know that he wanted, only knew the confused, annoying sensations like fluttering in his stomach when he saw his phone light up with Sawamura's name or his smile or heard his laugh or even saw his face. It was nothing but an inconvenience, one that he was wise to ignore…until Kazuya can't anymore.

And now there's nothing he can do, since it's too late. He watches the last glimpse of Sawamura disappear and all he can numbly think, is _Never is a long time_.

* * *

*Part 2 (and maybe more) is in the works due to a heavily requested happy ending


	11. Miyusawa - 25 (Part 2)

"What the hell was that?" Kuramochi's bellow startles Kazuya back into reality and he rubs his ear in annoyance. The numbness begins to fade rapidly as it occurs to him that there are witnesses. An unpleasant prickling sensation crawls down the back of his spine and Kazuya slowly turns, dreading what will happen next. He comes face to face with his teammates, their reactions displaying everything from thunderstruck shock to embarrassment to even no reaction at all.

"What was what?" Kazuya tries to play it off cool, tries to ignore the cold sweat breaking out at dangerous glint in Kominato-senpai's smile. There are disbelieving snorts and Kuramochi doesn't even bother making any sort of noise, instead just narrowing his eyes at Kazuya. _Seriously?_ he seems to silently fling at him and Kazuya reflexively shrugs, shaking everything about this off as if everything is fine. Like he hasn't just made a discovery nothing short of momentous, at least to him, only to have been denied the chance to explore it.

"Cut the bullshit." Kuramochi orders, clearly annoyed. Kazuya simply raises an eyebrow and Kuramochi takes a quick look around before dragging him out of sight and hearing range. Then he abruptly stops, shoving Kazuya against a wall. He repeats himself, hissing, "What the fuck was that?" and the resolve to just ignore it all and pretend like nothing happened, seems to crumble. Kazuya wilts just the tiniest bit, still determined to keep his back straight and strong. He isn't this weak.

"What did it look like?", Kazuya aims to sound flippant but his voice comes out flat and hard, unyielding. Just like the walls he has built up around his heart to stop something exactly like this from happening.

Useless. Utterly and completely useless, is what they turn out to be and anger begins to suffuse his thoughts, anger at the unfairness of Sawamura, anger at himself –

Something must have slipped past the walls Kazuya quickly has to deem too flimsy because Kuramochi's glare softens at the edges until his anger is nothing more than a low simmer curdling the corners of his eyes in distaste.

"It looked like a kiss.", he tells Kazuya bluntly. He almost flinches at the accusatory tone and then does flinch when Kuramochi adds, "And it looked like you liked it. Like you like him."

It sounds like a cold, hard fact, unmoveable, and something Kazuya would love to dispute. There's no evidence, he wants to say, but the words get stuck in his throat because _of course that's a lie_. All the evidence needed to back up what Kuramochi says can be found in what happened just minutes ago, can be found in Kazuya's heavy heart and the numbness beginning to creep back in, and most likely in the way he holds himself, shoulders stiff and like they're barely able to hold up beneath the weight of all the realisations Kazuya is having today. _Not now_ , he tells himself, _later_. _Never_ sounds like a good option too.

A dull ache spreads in his chest and he swallows.

 _Never is a long time._

Kazuya looks away, jaw set, and that's really all the proof Kuramochi needs. Kuramochi's hand settles on his shoulder and squeezes once. Maybe he can feel that reprimands to stay away aren't needed, or maybe he's just being a good friend, or maybe he doesn't care about stupid rivalries at all. Maybe he's just as shocked as Kazuya is, at what just happened, and what it means, and at how Kazuya just doesn't seem able to make his insecurity and confusion as invisible as he wants to.

 _Take care_ , that gesture seems to say, but it feels heavy and even after Kuramochi leaves, Kazuya can feel its weight, a pressure bearing down on him. It's screaming at him to decide - but decide what? Hasn't all control over this been taken from him already?

Against his will, Kazuya's gaze seeks out the direction Sawamura has disappeared in. He's gone and doesn't miraculously reappear but maybe...maybe _never_ can be changed.

* * *

"Inashiro Industrial calls for a change in players.", a cool female voice announces over speaker, echoing across the stadium, "Pitcher, number 1, Narumiya Mei is replaced with pitcher, number 18, Sawamura Eijun!"

Eijun steps onto the field, a little bit proud but mostly feeling a strange kind of seriousness as responsibility settles onto his shoulders like a too heavy cloak. He can still breathe just fine despite it growing heavier with each step he takes toward the mound, but as he passes by Narumiya, Eijun's silent. He doesn't know what to say, if to encourage or not, if words are even needed or wanted. Then the final, heavy piece slots into place, the baton to continue this race toward Koushien. Narumiya presses the ball into his hand but doesn't look up, his shoulders hunched and head bowed down low to hide his face. Eijun doesn't need to see it to know he's shaking; the hand passing the ball to him trembles ever so slightly. Eijun decides to say nothing and instead grips the ball tightly. He hopes it is enough to convey his reassurance. The game has to go on and he has to continue it, their key player at this critical point in time. Right now, Sawamura Eijun is the ace, and despite being granted a glimpse of what the future might be like, it's nothing like he has ever imagined.

When Eijun faces Miyuki at bat, it's like a mirror of the first game they ever played against each other. There is an undeniable surge of energy that passes between them, some basic understanding and primal instinct that makes it impossible to concentrate on and see anyone but one another. Their face off begins, intense like the rest of the game.

The mirror falls apart, splintering into a thousand pieces accompanied by loud cheering. It sounds like dashed dreams and hopes as Inashiro loses and Seidou is announced the winner.

Seidou goes to Koushien and Inashiro doesn't and Eijun is – crushed. All of Inashiro is, especially the third years and Narumiya. After managing to shake hands with Seidou with as much dignity as they can muster, Inashiro is able to leave the stadium without raising too much attention. It's almost lucky, ironic in a way, that Seidou's win gives them the out they need to leave somewhat gracefully.

That is, they try and most of them do, except for Eijun. Eijun is stopped when he's barely past the dugout and by none other than by their rival's – Seidou's – catcher. _Miyuki Kazuya_ , Eijun thinks as he turns at the light touch on his shoulder and tries to pretend like the hitch in his breath didn't happen, like the ache of disappointment and loss isn't joined by a duller, more deep-seated pain.

It vaguely feels like a déjà vu when Miyuki doesn't say anything at first. His face is flushed in what is surely exhilaration at their victory and it makes Eijun feel sick to his stomach that he can even feel a bit of happiness stir at that expression. He shouldn't be feeling like this, shouldn't be happy that their 'enemy' won instead of them, won against them. He should be angry at them taking the victory that should be theirs but he can't get himself to feel it. Eijun manages a small smile but it does nothing to hide his inner turmoil. It looks immeasurably exhausted, crushingly disappointed – and yet genuine.

"Congratulations." Eijun tells Miyuki, coming out too easily, at the same time that Miyuki finally speaks, "I'm sorry."

Eijun blinks at the unexpected apology and the even more surprising honesty in it. Despite Miyuki's obvious joy at winning, his face is serious and suddenly Eijun's eyes feel hot. He blinks again quite rapidly, looking away.

"For what?"

Miyuki blinks too, unseen by Eijun. It seems he isn't the only one experiencing a sense of this having happened before and maybe it's in that moment that Miyuki reaches a silent conclusion because he reaches out to put a hand on Eijun's shoulder. Eijun stiffens momentarily but then relaxes all too quickly; it's one more weight he has to carry today but it's the first that feels reassuring instead of like unbearable pressure. He finally looks up at Miyuki again, meeting his eyes which show sombreness and a hurt which feels out of place.

"I'm sorry." Miyuki repeats, not giving a direct answer but not looking away either. "I know you worked – work – hard all the time and I know you wanted to win while being the ace. And I'm – I'm sorry you didn't get to do that."

Eijun listens in amazement and vague embarrassment as his chest feels warm and less pained at the words, like Miyuki is spreading balm onto his soul. This. This is what draws Eijun to him, this boy full of sarcastic remarks and barbed jokes, this boy who knows when seriousness is required, this boy who can sense what's needed even if he doesn't always know how to give it. But in this moment, Miyuki is surprisingly good at that, surprisingly gentle and, Eijun realises, it's the glimpses of who he is and can be that made him fall for him in the first place.

Eijun sniffles, raising a hand to hide embarrassed tears, and is once more shocked when he's drawn into a warm chest and an even warmer hug.

Mei hangs behind, having been on the tail end of the team. He's only vaguely aware of his surroundings, the loss reminding him too much of past events. For whatever reason, his eyes are drawn to and snag on a uniformed 18 clad in Inashiro colours – Sawamura, that first year pitcher. Mei feels a dull stab of pity pierce through the sluggish veil of self-awareness or, in this case, lack thereof. Still, it's a necessary, if difficult lesson to learn, he thinks, resolving to talk to him once he doesn't feel quite so empty himself anymore, quite proud of that thought – and then he sees him. Sees the childhood rival he's come to hate and love and, above all, appreciate, with his kouhai, comforting him.

And Mei doesn't know why, but suddenly everything is red and dark and he becomes rigid as a sour taste spreads in his mouth. He abruptly turns his back on them, fast catching up to the rest of the team, silent and strangely bitter.

Eijun is still too surprised by the hug to react in any way but he can't stop his body's unconscious reaction to relaxing into the hold like he did in response to Miyuki's hand on his shoulder. He begins to shake and he can't stop the tears from coming. _Never is a long time_ , he thinks, and his fingers curl into the front of Miyuki's jersey who thankfully stays silent. Never is a long time and if this is all he gets, he'll take it. He really wishes it wasn't _never_ and for the first time, he thinks somewhat rebelliously, that maybe _never_ isn't a promise he wants to keep.


	12. Miyusawa - 25 (Part 3)

Rival!AU Part 3 (aiming to conclude in 4 but no promises)

* * *

By the time Sawamura has a hold of himself again, Kazuya's uniform is damp with more than just the sweat he had to pay as price for victory. It doesn't seem like much of a demand and it really isn't, he thinks, heart hurting for Sawamura when he pulls away with a small, pathetic sounding sniffle. He looks small too, so different from the larger than life presence he has whenever he's on the field. Sawamura has depleted his seemingly endless store of energy and sunshine-warm smiles and Kazuya wonders if that hollowness in his chest is Sawamura or himself, whether they've unknowingly established some kind of telepathic connection - no.

Kazuya shouldn't be feeling like this, feeling and thinking for and like his rival - his enemy, as Sawamura's recent lack of contact has been trying to emphasise. Kazuya _won_ \- _Seidou won!_ He should be happy, triumphant, celebrating with the rest of the team…and yet, he doesn't feel much like celebrating at all.

"S-sorry.", Sawamura gestures at Kazuya's uniform in apology. His irrational sense of anger disappears at Sawamura rubbing his eyes and he suddenly notices the dark circles underneath them, bruise-like. Kazuya has a sneaking suspicion that Inashiro's loss is not at fault for those; the matching bags under his own eyes are thankfully hidden by his tinted glasses. He swallows hard around the growing lump in his throat and attempts his signature smirk. It doesn't feel quite right, too brittle to do its usual job of covering up properly.

"Why? I should be used to it by now.", he quips, regretting his choice of action instantly when Sawamura throws him a startled look full of hurt. Kazuya winces; he was in the same position as him a year ago. He knows how painful a close loss like this is. He wants to take it back, wants to say something to make it better, but he doesn't have the proper words, not in his head or stuck in his throat. They simply aren't there and internally, he begins to panic. Kazuya opens his mouth and predictably no sound emerges but it doesn't matter anyway because Sawamura has already turned away from him, back stiff and shoulders hunched.

"Bye.", Sawamura bites out as he starts toward the exit with a sense of finality, leaving Kazuya in the quickly emptying stadium. A chill runs down his spine and a nameless fear steals its way into his heart.

'Never' hasn't really felt like 'never' until now.

Mei doesn't see Sawamura's departure from Kazuya nor does he care; at least that's what he tries to tell himself. But the way a white two-digit number mingles with brilliant red and gold on royal blue burns its way behind his eyes, haunting him when he closes them to sleep or stealing to the forefront of his mind when his thoughts drift off. His gaze becomes hard and cold as steel, fists clenching until his knuckles stand out white, until his nails dig into callused palms, until it hurts almost as much as his heart does.

* * *

Eijun barely notices Narumiya's sudden reluctance to interact with him or how he slowly draws away. Once or twice he could have sworn he saw his trio of friends whisper behind his back, stares trained on Eijun, until he turns to stare back only to find them looking elsewhere. Still, he remembers their words too well.  
Eijun chalks the fleeting glances up to his imagination, lack of sleep and, as much as he hates to admit it, missing someone, an _enemy_ he shouldn't. Eijun shouldn't miss Miyuki, not like _this_ and _not at all_.  
He tries to tell himself that when he pitches to Itsuki during practice, and wishes he looked a little less serious and would wear a cocky smirk hiding away admiration and pride from behind a glinting pair of sports glasses. He tries to remind himself to think of the pain of losing Koshien when the burning in his muscles from running has crossed the threshold of bearable and hurts enough to rival the pain of that last meeting, because no matter how much that tears at Eijun, _nothing_ can be as bad as that crushing defeat.

Can it?

And if the ragged edges of his heart whisper that _yes, it can_ , Eijun diligently, stubbornly ignores it. He throws pitch after pitch, runs one lap after the other, trains until he can't think anymore and nearly drops from exhaustion. Because, _no, it can't_ , he can't - can't allow it to hurt, himself or the team. Miyuki is and will stay his rival, even after high school is long over, because Narumiya, his esteemed senpai, proud and hurting, strong despite astounding frailty, deserves happiness as much as anyone.

* * *

The rest of the year passes quickly and all too soon, Kazuya finds himself following in the footsteps of team captain, a legacy that feels too great and heavy for him to carry at first. But he grows into it, despite any reservations and doubts he has, thanks to the more or less reluctant friendships he has built within the team. They work hard and at the end of it all, Kazuya feels the pride only a captain who has become heart of the team and has seen them grow can feel. He doesn't show it, not much, but there's a reassurance and quiet confidence replacing the prior cockiness used to conceal his insecurity.

He doesn't think back on the past, about how he used to be or anything else. He keeps it all firmly locked away in the back on his head and the smallest corner of his heart he can find, right along with untouched inbox messages he hasn't dared to open or sent into the void.

Then they stand before Koshien, having just won their way to the semi-finals and it's only when Seido finds out just who they're playing against next, that everything suddenly crumbles and Kazuya becomes aware that the wall he's built is a lot more fragile than he thinks.

"Inashiro, huh? Either this is rigged or there seems to be something like fate pitting us against each other." Kuramochi frowns from beside him, sounding unusually worried. Miyuki misses the glance he shoots him, too frozen by shock. His hands feel clammy and cold. "I wonder if they have that pitcher kid from last year with them this time too. What was his name again, Miyuki?"

Miyuki starts, tearing his eyes away from the sheet of paper pinned to the blackboard, his heart dully aching in memory.

"What?"

Kuramochi snorts, side-eyeing him and grinning openly, almost suggestively. A bit of steel seems to rest behind his eyes, like he's testing Kazuya.

"You know, the one you hung out with so much. I thought you guys were friends."

 _Friends_. There's an emphasis there which Kazuya doesn't miss and he has to swallow heavily at that because yes, they _were_ , as Kuramochi has so nicely pointed out. But they aren't anymore, are they? Sawamura hasn't written to him or called, _nothing_ , for almost exactly a year, he thinks, too afraid to have checked if maybe the opposite is true, too afraid to hope that he didn't destroy what they had back then. And even if he hadn't ruined it completely, he surely has done so now. And friends don't hurt each other the way Kazuya has done to Eijun, do they?

 _Friends don't kiss either_ , a voice treacherously whispers inside Kazuya's head.

"We're not friends." Kazuya bluntly says out loud, raising an eyebrow at Kuramochi as if daring him to challenge the statement. Kuramochi looks unimpressed, shrugging.

"It's not me you gotta convince."

Kuramochi nods at something behind Kazuya and he feels something icy run down his spine and pool into his stomach, a sick kind of foreboding. He slowly turns, dreading what - or who- he will see. And, of course, it's –

"Kuramochi-senpai." Sawamura nods at the two of them, eyes shuttered and cold. He only glances at Kazuya and the dull pain from before is suddenly a stab wound, sharp and bleeding. "Miyuki."

The knife twists at the obvious distance Sawamura's tone puts between them. Did he hear them talking about him? Kazuya opens his mouth, a desperate and jumbled explanation burning just below the surface, but Sawamura is already turning away to follow his team mates onto the bus. It's like a slap in the face and Kazuya's feet carry him over before he comprehends what he's done. His hand clasps around Sawamura's wrist, a single word falling from his lips, "Wait."

Eijun hoped to get to the bus before something like this happened, before Miyuki stopped looking so stunned and made a move. The grip on his wrist feels strange – like a shackle and a key at once, unlocking something inside Eijun he thought to have buried a long time ago.

Of course, he suspected already that _it_ wasn't quite as securely hidden as he thought when he heard Miyuki's declaration of "We're not friends". It stung, and still does, much more than expected, the note of panic in Miyuki's tone delivering the finishing blow. Eijun stiffens now, going rigid in Miyuki's grasp, but doesn't turn.

"Let go." he tells him, voice low, not just not to draw attention, but to hide the desperation and pain that want to crawl through the cracks of the armour Eijun has procured for himself with so much effort. He didn't realise it before, but now that it's beginning to crumble, the cracks spider-webbing and widening, that his armour is non-existent. And it begins right at his wrist, warming beneath a cold hand that feels like it belongs. Eijun blinks away the tears that threaten to fall; he needs to leave, now.

But Miyuki still isn't letting go and if Eijun wasn't beginning to panic because he can see Narumiya-senpai stop and look back at them, he would feel his heart warm and chest swell with something like pride.

"Sawamura, please." Miyuki starts, talking to the back of Eijun's head and voice just as low as his. It's strong but seems to be on the edge of a waver and Eijun has to swallow at the realisation that he isn't alone in this. "Listen, I -"

"Kazuya, let the poor guy go. He worked hard today." Narumiya isn't tall by any means but the late afternoon sun throws his shadow much longer than it should be, reaching menacingly over the two of them. Eijun blinks up at him, unable to see his face against the sun, but something must be visible to Miyuki, because a moment later Eijun is finally, finally released. Eijun's heart jumps in his throat and he feels bare, much more disappointed than he has any right to be, and lowers his head. "Sawamura, get on the bus, we're not gonna wait for you."

Sawamura leaves and Kazuya can feel the part of his heart filled with memories and feelings that shouldn't exist go with him. He can't help but stare after him, silence falling between Kazuya and Mei, until Mei breaks it.

"What do you want with him?"

Kazuya finally turns his attention toward the golden prince of Inashiro, surrounded by a bleeding halo of the dying sun. It's a terrifyingly beautiful image, beauty too cold and distant to touch despite burning with a low simmering heat that threatens to burn anyone who comes near it. Kazuya though _has_ been near it and is used to cold burns, not being so different from Mei, as loathe as he is to admit it, in some things after all. Mei, to his credit, sounds surprisingly defensive and, dare Kazuya even think it, protective.

Kazuya doesn't look away from him, eyes like splintered ice meeting hard brown, like earth frozen over in winter and ready to be revived by the flame of the sun in spring.

"What's it to you?" Mei's eyes narrow at Kazuya but he doesn't even flinch, letting a bit of amusement play around the edges of a barely there smirk. Mei's mouth opens as if to say something, then closes again. Kazuya cocks an eyebrow. "Has the great prince lost his voice?"

Mei openly glares at Kazuya now, lips drawn back to show his teeth and eyes dancing flames of icy hellfire, and this time, Kazuya does shiver.

"Take him or leave him, Kazuya. But don't leave him hanging like that again."

Kazuya is stunned, to say the least, Mei's unexpected hissed warning catching him off guard, and unable to offer a single retort as Mei turns on his heel. His words ring in his head, right along with echoes of 'nevers' and Kazuya is more confused than ever.


	13. Miyusawa - 25 (Part 4)

Inashiro wins.

It's like an echo of the past, a grotesque parody, emphasised by Eijun's cheering team mates standing in stark contrast to the whirling pool of emotion raging inside him; exhilarated elation contrasting with the bone-crushing defeat he can feel bleeding over from Seidou. He can't help but grin widely, swept up in Inashiro's joy, but beneath it all, he's curiously hollow. His gaze travels over to Seidou unbidden, silent and dignified as they keep themselves from breaking down though a few of the players have tellingly bright eyes, blinking too much. It feels like maybe last year's interruption to Inashiro's winning streak was nothing but a glitch – but it was a glitch worth treasuring, worth fanning the flame of hope that maybe it could be repeated – Eijun shoves that thought away, this sudden sting of sympathy so great it steals his breath away, closing around his throat and covering his eyes in a hot, wet haze. He blinks, forcing himself to look at his team, and grin. It doesn't come as easily as it should.

A playful slap lands on his shoulder, light with victory, and Eijun almost flinches, startling as he looks up to find Narumiya's eyes directed at him. There's a sort of stoniness behind the triumphant spark in them, a resolve that makes Eijun straighten up unconsciously. No weight is pressing down on him from Narumiya's hand – and yet, he can feel a kind of pressure nonetheless, like he's a bowstring pulled taut, waiting for the arrow to be released.

"You don't have to do that, you know." Narumiya says, breaking the mounting tension full of anticipation between them. Eijun blinks.

"Do what?"

And Narumiya rolls his eyes, the tension draining.

"Hold back, because of me." He begins to explain, nodding over to Seidou. Eijun glances over, catching a glimpse of Miyuki's sweat-soaked hair, and goes bright red. Almost getting whiplash, he snaps his eyes back to Narumiya and shakes his head in violent denial.

"No, I – what –"

Narumiya's hand suddenly has a vice-like grip on Eijun's shoulder, and he shuts up. Narumiya nods, a familiar expression of arrogance spreading across his face, though Eijun has an inkling it's just a mask. And maybe, that's really all it ever was.

"Go. I know you want to."

 _My enemies are not yours; my battles are mine to fight._

Then he lets go and with one last, lingering look into his eyes, Narumiya leaves to rejoin his group of friends. They look over at his stunned expression, but quickly turn their attention back to Narumiya in their midst.

It feels like release.

Eijun's breath whooshes out of him in one great gust, and he slumps a bit, but at the same time, he feels much lighter than he has in a long time. He sends Narumiya's back a thoughtful look, and then chances another glance over at Seidou. The last of their members disappears through the exit and Eijun's heart plummets at his missed chance. He feels someone's gaze digging into him, and turns, meeting Narumiya's eyes, sharp and clear like a glass dagger. Eijun swallows, unconsciously drawing himself up and suddenly remembers that he might not be out of chances quite yet. He nods, and Narumiya, after holding is gaze for a couple of moments longer, looks away.

\- O -

The rest of the year passes by too fast and too slow, for Kazuya's liking. The wound left by Seidou's loss to Inashiro feels too fresh too touch, and yet, none of them are given time to grieve. For the team, training is resumed and unrelenting as always. For the third years, their time with them came to an end the second their last match was over.

And for Kazuya, well. His heart aches too much to ignore, and yet he's doing his best to do just that, because that kind of pain has nothing to do with this team, and all to do with another. He doesn't know how to fix it, fix _them_ , even with Mei's threat hanging over his head. Kazuya is helpless and confused, and he hates it.

It only stings more that their last match was a loss, a bitter end to an already short time among a team not unlike family, and something that felt much too final between _him_ and Kazuya.

He stands on the podium, lost among a sea of third years, and facing the rest of Seidou's students as they all listen to the principal repeat his yearly address. He zones in and out of the practised farewell-speech, not particularly interested in paying attention, and really just wishing it all to be over. It's too hot in these formal uniforms and there's an itch he can't scratch beneath his collar because they're all forced to stand still; he puts all his concentration into feeling every fibre of his clothes, every sensation on his skin, anything to keep him from thinking about other aches.

The principal drones on and on among impatient silence, emphasised by minimal shuffling and muffled coughs. Kazuya lets a bored and tired gaze travel across the solemnly dressed crowd in front of them, recognising his team's – ex-team's – faces here and there. They all look equally bored, some yawning or even asleep on their feet. He can see Furuya propped up by Kanemaru, to prevent him from crushing Haruichi. Kazuya's lips quirk upward in amusement. His attention continues drifting across the crowd, catching a glimpse here and there, never resting in one place for too long – until he snags on a sight too unbelievable to be true. His eyes widen and Kazuya is a hotwire, alive with electricity, his heartbeat thumping too loud in his ears, and his mouth parted as if to call out a name as bright as the sun, burning too bright in his heart and yet hurting less than he has in weeks.

\- O -

Eijun can tell the moment Miyuki notices him. It's like something out of a movie or the shoujo mangas he so religiously reads and cries over – their eyes meet and connect, magnetically drawing them to one another. Eijun scarcely hears what the principal talks about, sudden wind in his ears drowning out every other noise, apart from the quickening heartbeat in his chest and stuttering breath filling his head with static. The hand hidden in his pocket clenches, clammy with sweat and nerves.

Countless _never's_ echo in Eijun's mind, culminating in a desperate sense of doom – like this is the last chance he'll ever get, because after this, Miyuki and him have no reason to meet anymore, whether by chance or on purpose. Eijun doesn't want to let this go, isn't ready to, and he's finally brave enough to try. He can tell Miyuki is as impatient as he is, or maybe it's just wishful thinking, but he thinks he's done his waiting, and, well, there's a good chance Miyuki feels the same way…isn't there? Eijun is still too unsure, still too scared, but he has to know.

Suddenly, the assembly bursts into applause, startling him out of his trance and forcing him to break eye contact with Miyuki. When he looks up again, his stomach plummets because he's gone. Even though his eyes search frantically for a glimpse of his face, they find nothing, and he doesn't even notice himself bumping into students left and right as he stumbles his way through the crowd.

He can't lose, not again. Not this.

And he feels awful, because if he could decide between winning Koshien or being with Miyuki, even against the odds…he'd chose him. He didn't know it until now, but it's something that clicks into place, in the middle of a too crowded courtyard of a school that isn't his…and how would everything have played out if he had gone here, instead of Inashiro?

Eijun stops, fist clenching in his pocket again, as he stares at the ground and tries to reel in all of this unbidden emotion springing out of nowhere. But maybe he'd only suppressed it all, pretending none of it was there, just like he'd done with his feelings toward Miyuki once he'd been warned of the rivalry between him and Mei.

" _Go. I know you want to."_

Eijun looks up, determined and gaze sharp as he regains his composure. It all seems too easy, after that. As if by coincidence, a student steps out of the way only to reveal Miyuki standing behind them. His eyes are wide behind familiar glasses, stunned, and lips slightly parted as if to speak. Eijun holds his gaze, unwilling to let it go again, and walks toward him, much steadier and calmer than just moments before. Then he stands in front of him, barely two steps apart, and it's like they're enveloped in a bubble of silence and wonder, like everything else has fallen away.

"What are you doing here?" Miyuki speaks first, voice just the slightest bit coarse, like he can't quite grasp this as reality. Eijun's mouth quirks upward in the corners. He can't quite believe it either; he probably wouldn't even be here without a certain person's encouragement.

"You don't want to see me?" Eijun replies with a question, purposely sounding indignant. Miyuki looks just a bit panicked and Eijun has to grin, coaxing a mild glare out of him. He teases, "Payback."

Miyuki's expression clearly shows how stunned he is at that, and Eijun laughs, maybe just a tad too hysterical.

"You really…" Miyuki starts, drifting off, like he doesn't know what to say, and that really is a first, as far as Eijun is concerned. He lifts an eyebrow, crossing his arms as if to wait for him to finish, momentarily forgetting all about being nervous.

"I'm really…what?" he prompts, when Miyuki doesn't continue, frowning when Miyuki suddenly smirks.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he says instead of finishing whatever thought he started, and Eijun pouts in annoyance. Miyuki laughs, and Eijun flushes. That sound is so different from the other laughs he's heard of him so often; it's genuine and happy. Free. "How about this? I'll tell you after you tell me why you're here?"

There's a hopeful sort of tone in his voice, fragile and so unlike anything Eijun's ever heard Miyuki say, apart from a single memory of " _Don't say it_ ", that all mild irritation with him is gone. So Eijun ducks his head, blushing just the slightest bit, and dips a hand into his pocket. His fingers close around a small, smooth object, warm from being held on to too tightly. He pulls it out, slowly opening his fist to reveal its contents.

Miyuki stares for so long, it makes Eijun antsy, anxiety going into overdrive – maybe he was too forward? Does Miyuki hate him now? Did he just make a fatal mistake?

"Is that a button?"

Miyuki's voice brings Eijun's garbling thoughts to a screeching halt, making him look up. Miyuki is staring at the button, then lifts his eyes to Eijun's. There's a smirk hiding in the speechless line of his mouth, and Eijun bristles.

"Well – if you don't want it – " he starts, annoyed and riled up, covering up his hurt and embarrassment, as he draws his hand back, closing it tightly. Miyuki grabs hold of his wrist in a flash and he shuts up, stunned. He watches as Miyuki gently pries his hand open, takes the button and lifts it to eye level.

"I know it's usually the senpai who gives it to someone they like –" Eijun begins to babble when he doesn't say anything, but falls into silence once again when Miyuki looks at him without a smirk but a light flush to his cheeks.

"You like me?"

Now it's Eijun's turn to be stunned, but then he starts flailing. How can someone be so _dense_?

"What, you think I go around kissing random asshole catchers? I'll have you know, my – hmphh!"

The whooping of some of Seidou's team mates nearby, having gathered upon noticing Eijun there, falls on deaf ears. Eijun's hands fall to his side, limp, as Miyuki presses close and kisses him, one hand around the button and the other loosely around Eijun's wrist.

The kiss goes on forever and not long enough, a soft, warm press of lips mingling with hot breath as they barely part.

"You really surprise me." Miyuki murmurs, close enough that Eijun can feel the movement of his lips and their moisture on his. Eijun smiles widely.

"I'll take that as a compliment!" he beams, leaning in for another kiss. A part of him is disappointed Miyuki didn't say it back, but for now…

It's not perfect, but it's better than anything they had so far. For now…this is enough.

\- O -

"Catch!"

Eijun startles, barely managing to hold on to the plain brown envelope aimed at his head. He glowers at Kazuya grinning at him, a spark of pride inside his chest, as he watches Eijun approach with his graduation diploma securely in hand.

"You should be nicer to your boyfriend." Sawamura chastises, grouchy enough that Kazuya knows he isn't really angry. He juts out his lower lip in a pout and Kazuya grins wider. _Too cute._

"I'm plenty nice." Kazuya replies, eliciting a snort of disbelief from Sawamura, and sniggers. "Just open it."

Sawamura shoots him a look between anticipation and suspicion, and while part of Kazuya is annoyed that he still doesn't seem to trust him, a far greater part is much too amused. And yes, maybe another teensy, quite insignificant part of him, is nervous.

But, you know. Totally not enough to influence him in any way whatsoever. And most definitely nothing to do with how his hands shoved into his pockets are clammy with sweat.

It really shouldn't be a big deal, but somehow, it still is.

Kazuya's breath stills as he watches Sawamura open the envelope, upturn it and a small, shiny, smooth object falls into his awaiting palm.

Sawamura's eyes are wide as he blinks down at the button in his hand. Then he looks up, and to Kazuya's alarm, his eyes are shiny with tears.

"D-did I do something? I just thought – you like shoujo, and you gave me yours so –" he attempts to stutter through a garbled explanation, but he's cut off by Eijun suddenly flinging his arms around him.

"Miyuki Kazuya!" Eijun wails into his neck, and Kazuya can feel his collar growing wet with tears. It dawns on him that maybe he didn't make a mistake after all, but the amount of tears soaking his shirt is still worrying. He puts his arms around Eijun, hoping that will calm him down, but Eijun pulls away as suddenly as he pounced on him. "You idiot!"

Kazuya frowns, severely confused. He really should be used to Eijun by now, but something tells him he never will be.

"What?"

Eijun then smiles, bright through his tears, and Kazuya's heart skips a beat.

"I love you, you know that?"

Kazuya's smiles back, relieved, and something warm and tingly travels its way up his spine at the words.

"I love you too."

The envelope falls to the ground but the button is held tightly as Eijun kisses Kazuya, while some surrounding students whistle and whoop.

Mei stands with Carlos, Shirakawa and Yamaoka, having come to watch their underclassmen's graduation. The sudden whooping makes him smile as he watches Sawamura and Kazuya's display of affection.

The world of professional baseball awaits, and what with Kazuya and him once again being on different teams, it seems like his rivalry with Kazuya is written in the stars…but it's between the two of them and no one else. And, if the rumours are true, Sawamura's been offered a spot on Kazuya's team. Mei grins.

"See you on the field, loser!" he calls out when Sawamura and Kazuya part. The two of them look over at him in surprise, but Kazuya catches himself quickly and smirks back.

"We'll see about who's the loser here, won't we?" he calls back, one arm around Eijun's waist. They look at each other, and Kazuya's eyes seem to say ' _Ready to play_?'

And Eijun can only nod, mirroring the smirk on his face.

 _Always._

And _always_ is a long time.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for taking so long, and also for any mistakes or weirdness regarding the writing style, I'm a bit rusty ^^'


End file.
